Steroids suck.

I like baseball.
Scratch that. I love baseball.
I love that there's no clock on a game. It unfolds at its own pace; each game different than the next. I love that it's a game that rewards both individual and team efforts. I love that I can watch a game intently or in a half-doze and enjoy it either way. I love going to a stadium and watching a game while I sit in the sun eating pork by-products.

So when some ass clown tarnishes the game I love, well, I get a little cranky about it.

When I was a kid I was the shortest, slowest, least athletically gifted person in my school. In all of the class pictures we were sorted shortest to tallest. I was always the shortest.
I was always picked last, and I always sucked at the game. You name it: dodgeball, kickball, softball, basketball, football...whatever it was, I blew.
As such, I eventually decided that watching sporting events, rather than playing, was a better way for me to spend my time. I can watch most sports most of the time, but my favorite is baseball.
I used to watch with my old man. Boxing was his favorite, but he liked baseball a lot too. We watched many a game together. Sometimes we'd have a game on while we played chess.

So when Pete Rose cheated and bet on baseball, I was offended by him. Charlie Hustle, they called him, the guy with the most hits ever and he'll probably never go to the Hall of Fame. I'm okay with that because he broke the rules of my favorite sport.

The last few years have been hard on baseball. A labor stoppage did a great amount of damage in the 90's. Ill-advised expansion made the talent level more shallow than the Kentucky gene pool. And now, finally, to my point.

To all of the players that used steroids or Human Growth Hormone or Creatine or whatever...

Shame on you.

You cheated.

I don't care if you've come clean about your past use. I don't care if you've used carefully worded apologies to beg forgivenss.

You cheated. You've tainted the game I love with your selfish actions. Please retire and go away so somebody with some integrity, some passion for keeping the game clean, can take your place and keep baseball pure.

As I write this, Barry Bonds is awaiting a perjury trial for allegedly lying about steroid use to a federal grand jury. Roger Clemens recently sat in a courtroom on Capitol Hill in Washington DC vehemently denying ever taking performance enhancing drugs. He may or may not be indicted for perjury. Guillermo Mota pitched for my favorite team, the Mets, and in 2007 he was suspended for 50 games because he took steroids. Since his return, he's been inconsistent, to be kind. I could go on and on with this list, but let me suffice it to say, I'd rather watch the game with less home runs and less power and feel better about the viewing experience. So take your denials, your balloony-cartoony muscles, and your heads that look akin to Butterball Turkeys and just fade away, willya? I'd rather see a rookie find his way with a little integrity than watch someone who can't let go so they take illegal drugs to help them stay in the limelight just a fraction of a second longer. Enjoy your back acne, your swollen head, and small penis and just disappear.

The game is bigger than any one person. It is bigger than any one scandal. The game will live on regardless of what players will do to get an edge. I look forward to a day when I don't have to wonder if someone is competing illegaly. I look forward to a clean game.