One of my favorite things about my job is the vast cornucopia of people that wander through the airport on their way to somewhere. I like to people watch. People are an endless font of quirky eccentricities. For example...
Today I saw a middle-aged lady wearing two fanny packs. Yep, tee double-you oh, two. She had them both on her front, all snug up against each other. One was the traditional black nylon, and the other was a heavy fabric-lookin' one with a southwest motiff.
I tried in vain to get my bag (not, in fact, a fanny pack, but a stlyish messenger bag; its official color is Ron Burgundy), wrangle out my celly and surreptitiously take a picture, but she was too fast. Or I was too slow. Whatever.
Sigh.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Holy crap...
...did I only post three times in May? Sorry to both of you who read this. I've been busy with (don't laugh) Halo 3. It's awesome. Great story, graphics, gameplay, I give it an A.
Anyway...Bridget Bradley Barrett Jones is happy because I've lost six pounds overall (and this without trying nearly as hard as I should have) and I'm down to 234. Wheee!
I have managed to squeeze a few movies into my days and it goes a little somethin' like this:
Sanjuro is Akira Kurosawa's sequel to Yojimbo (Yojimbo being one of my favorite all time movies) and it's really good. It's not as dark tonally as Yojimbo, but it's quite entertaining, moves briskly, and is beautifully shot. But, like most sequels, just doesn't quite live up to the first installment. The wife of the captured offical is transcendant. I'll give it a B+.
My friend Larry (nee Jerry) had never seen the MST3K version of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, so I made him watch it. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen, but equally good treatment at the hands of Joel and the 'bots. Gems include a great Invention Exchange that includes the Road House board game, Crow's new Christmas carol "A Patrick Swayze Christmas", and Gypsy's Mr. Mashed Potato Head. The original movie gets a big fat F, but the MST3K version gets a B+
I watched an animated Hellboy movie called Hellboy: Sword of Storms. Meh. Not bad, not great, just kind of gets a shrug, y'know? The best part is that all of the same actors from the movie did the voices. The animation was pretty good, but, well, meh. C-.
I also watched The Thing From Another World, the Howard Hawks production of an alien being unearthed near the North Pole and the suspense and terror that ensues. This movie was remade in the 80's by John Carpenter with Kurt Russell as MacReady in the more simply titled, The Thing. The latter is one of my favorite horror movies, while the former was pleasantly surprising. I figured the original would be not so good, but I was wrong. If you can overlook the Hawks' trademark snappy banter, it's a well done exercise in atmosphere, philosophy, and dread. Carpenter's remake discarded the philosophy and concentrated more on claustrophobia, gore, and terror. The Thing From Another World gets a B-.
The list so far:
1. Monsturd D-
2. Zodiac C+
3. Southland Tales F
4. Sunshine A-
5. Alien A
6. Payback (director's cut) D-
7. Severance B-
8. Hellboy C+
9. Night of the Hunter D---
10. Sanjuro B+
11. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians F, MST3K version B+
12. Hellboy: Sword of Storms C-
13. The Thing From Another World B-
P.S. Ya'll know I'm gonna have to watch this...
...right?
Anyway...Bridget Bradley Barrett Jones is happy because I've lost six pounds overall (and this without trying nearly as hard as I should have) and I'm down to 234. Wheee!
I have managed to squeeze a few movies into my days and it goes a little somethin' like this:
Sanjuro is Akira Kurosawa's sequel to Yojimbo (Yojimbo being one of my favorite all time movies) and it's really good. It's not as dark tonally as Yojimbo, but it's quite entertaining, moves briskly, and is beautifully shot. But, like most sequels, just doesn't quite live up to the first installment. The wife of the captured offical is transcendant. I'll give it a B+.
My friend Larry (nee Jerry) had never seen the MST3K version of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, so I made him watch it. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen, but equally good treatment at the hands of Joel and the 'bots. Gems include a great Invention Exchange that includes the Road House board game, Crow's new Christmas carol "A Patrick Swayze Christmas", and Gypsy's Mr. Mashed Potato Head. The original movie gets a big fat F, but the MST3K version gets a B+
I watched an animated Hellboy movie called Hellboy: Sword of Storms. Meh. Not bad, not great, just kind of gets a shrug, y'know? The best part is that all of the same actors from the movie did the voices. The animation was pretty good, but, well, meh. C-.
I also watched The Thing From Another World, the Howard Hawks production of an alien being unearthed near the North Pole and the suspense and terror that ensues. This movie was remade in the 80's by John Carpenter with Kurt Russell as MacReady in the more simply titled, The Thing. The latter is one of my favorite horror movies, while the former was pleasantly surprising. I figured the original would be not so good, but I was wrong. If you can overlook the Hawks' trademark snappy banter, it's a well done exercise in atmosphere, philosophy, and dread. Carpenter's remake discarded the philosophy and concentrated more on claustrophobia, gore, and terror. The Thing From Another World gets a B-.
The list so far:
1. Monsturd D-
2. Zodiac C+
3. Southland Tales F
4. Sunshine A-
5. Alien A
6. Payback (director's cut) D-
7. Severance B-
8. Hellboy C+
9. Night of the Hunter D---
10. Sanjuro B+
11. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians F, MST3K version B+
12. Hellboy: Sword of Storms C-
13. The Thing From Another World B-
P.S. Ya'll know I'm gonna have to watch this...
...right?
Monday, May 26, 2008
So there's this guy...
(this is Rey Mysterio with a stoned-looking Lindsay Lohan)
So there's this guy who comes into Hastings a lot, we'll call him Dick. Dick likes to rent movies and then complain about something (freezes, skips, no sound) so he can get a free movie. We've all figured out his game and we all try not to give in to him. So he comes in the other day having rented some WWE event DVD, and he wants a free rental because Rey Mysterio was not listed on the DVD box, but he did, in fact, appear on the DVD itself.
Wha?
Come on, man, is that the best you got?
Luckily, I was helping someone else, because I was already in a snarky mood and I would have found it difficult to be kind to Dick, so my co-worker Supreme Nerd Commander (I mean that in a good way) Michael Gappmeyer told him to get bent (not really, but Gappmeyer told him 'no') and Dick left, telling us we needed to 'work on our customer service skills.'
Dick called back later and spoke to our manager, Jay (who is excellent at conflict resolution), and Jay told Dick that since we didn't like him, and he didn't like us, maybe he should go rent from Hollywood or Blockbuster.
Two days later I was working again, and Dick came back. He's such an idiot. When I mentioned this to Jay, he told me that Dick's wife was 'meaner and stupider' than Dick.
I don't really have much of a point here, just that some people suck really, really bad.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Beware Night of the Hunter
I've been a little light on the movie watching the last few weeks. Been pretty busy, but I managed to sneak in a handful.
I remember that I watched Hellboy when it first came out on DVD, but to be honest, I didn't remember much about it. I didn't remember that John Hurt played old guy Broom, I didn't remember that there was a new sidekick (sorry Agent Myers, you made no lasting impression), and I didn't remember any of the ending. At all.
So, like any good fanboy would, I bought a copy. You know, because it's a comic book thingy, and I should support that and stuff. So I watched it again and it's really not too shabby. I was pleasantly surprised by most of it (it helped that I forgot so much of it) and thought the special effects were quite well done. I really only watched it again because I want to go see the sequel this summer, and I wanted a referesher. This movie doesn't really work on a believable semi-real level like say, Batman Begins, it only really works when viewed through a true comic book adventure prism. I can't imagine any actor other than Ron Perlman playing this part, and I liked Selma Blair, too. Not great, not bad, but a solid C+.
So I've always meant to watch Night of the Hunter, and lo and behold, it was on Turner Classic Movies last week. So I TiVo'd it and gave it a watch. One of my favorite things on TCM is a segment they call "The Essentials." They have somebody like renaissance woman Carrie Fisher or critic Molly Haskel on to chat with host Robert Osbourne's corpse about their favorite movies as a segue into watching it. Usually it's someone with a little Hollywood cache, someone who might not be my favorite actor/director/producer/writer but they're generally respectable.
So to introduce Night of the Hunter is... wait for it... Rose McGowan.
I mean... really? Rose McGowan? On The Essentials? Yep, she's co-hosting all month.
What, was Joyce DeWitt busy?
Brian Austin Green was booked?
Yeesh.
So Osbourne and McGowan are foaming at the mouth about this "Essential", when McGowan says "It's not subtle..."
One of the 'Charmed' sisters says it's not subtle? The eye-candy from Scream says it's not subtle? The chick that used to date Marilyn Manson, the girl from Planet Terror who had a machine gun for a leg says it's not subtle?
Uh, oh.
(now to be fair, I liked Planet Terror and Scream...)
But I digress.
Night of the Hunter was awful. McGowan was right. Not subtle, in fact, not good, not cohesive, not well written, not well directed, certainly not well acted, and absolutely not entertaining.
Robert Mitchum was chewing the scenery, and not in a good way. Shelly Winters gave a shrill, one-note performance on par with most high school actresses I had the, ahem, pleasure to work with in my teens. The script was just dreadful and it seemed as if the director had no idea what he word 'continuity' meant. I have no idea why this film is considered an 'Essential'. Bleh. Double bleh.
If I had the choice to watch this film again or to eat a bucketful of cancer, I'd have to flip a coin. D---. (The only reason I don't give it an F is because Lillian Gish did a respectable job.)
So far the Summer of 1000 Movies (or S1000M) looks like this:
1. Monsturd D-
2. Zodiac C+
3. Southland Tales F
4. Sunshine A-
5. Alien A
6. Payback (director's cut) D-
7. Severance B-
8. Hellboy C+
9. Night of the Hunter D---
I remember that I watched Hellboy when it first came out on DVD, but to be honest, I didn't remember much about it. I didn't remember that John Hurt played old guy Broom, I didn't remember that there was a new sidekick (sorry Agent Myers, you made no lasting impression), and I didn't remember any of the ending. At all.
So, like any good fanboy would, I bought a copy. You know, because it's a comic book thingy, and I should support that and stuff. So I watched it again and it's really not too shabby. I was pleasantly surprised by most of it (it helped that I forgot so much of it) and thought the special effects were quite well done. I really only watched it again because I want to go see the sequel this summer, and I wanted a referesher. This movie doesn't really work on a believable semi-real level like say, Batman Begins, it only really works when viewed through a true comic book adventure prism. I can't imagine any actor other than Ron Perlman playing this part, and I liked Selma Blair, too. Not great, not bad, but a solid C+.
So I've always meant to watch Night of the Hunter, and lo and behold, it was on Turner Classic Movies last week. So I TiVo'd it and gave it a watch. One of my favorite things on TCM is a segment they call "The Essentials." They have somebody like renaissance woman Carrie Fisher or critic Molly Haskel on to chat with host Robert Osbourne's corpse about their favorite movies as a segue into watching it. Usually it's someone with a little Hollywood cache, someone who might not be my favorite actor/director/producer/writer but they're generally respectable.
So to introduce Night of the Hunter is... wait for it... Rose McGowan.
I mean... really? Rose McGowan? On The Essentials? Yep, she's co-hosting all month.
What, was Joyce DeWitt busy?
Brian Austin Green was booked?
Yeesh.
So Osbourne and McGowan are foaming at the mouth about this "Essential", when McGowan says "It's not subtle..."
One of the 'Charmed' sisters says it's not subtle? The eye-candy from Scream says it's not subtle? The chick that used to date Marilyn Manson, the girl from Planet Terror who had a machine gun for a leg says it's not subtle?
Uh, oh.
(now to be fair, I liked Planet Terror and Scream...)
But I digress.
Night of the Hunter was awful. McGowan was right. Not subtle, in fact, not good, not cohesive, not well written, not well directed, certainly not well acted, and absolutely not entertaining.
Robert Mitchum was chewing the scenery, and not in a good way. Shelly Winters gave a shrill, one-note performance on par with most high school actresses I had the, ahem, pleasure to work with in my teens. The script was just dreadful and it seemed as if the director had no idea what he word 'continuity' meant. I have no idea why this film is considered an 'Essential'. Bleh. Double bleh.
If I had the choice to watch this film again or to eat a bucketful of cancer, I'd have to flip a coin. D---. (The only reason I don't give it an F is because Lillian Gish did a respectable job.)
So far the Summer of 1000 Movies (or S1000M) looks like this:
1. Monsturd D-
2. Zodiac C+
3. Southland Tales F
4. Sunshine A-
5. Alien A
6. Payback (director's cut) D-
7. Severance B-
8. Hellboy C+
9. Night of the Hunter D---
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Bridget Jones is sad.
Bradley Bridget Jones Barrett update: I haven't really tried to diet the last two weeks, and as a result, I have not lost any weight. The upside to this is, somehow, I haven't managed to gain any back. I'm stuck, for the moment, at 237 pounds. I partially blame my work schedule, it's been pretty hectic and I've lost my motivation. Starting today, though, I am losing the hectic part for a bit; I don't work a morning shift for the next eight days. I will get back on the diet/exercise wagon and I'm positive I'll have good news to report next week.
I stole the following questions from various friends' blogs.
1. What was I doing 10 years ago? I was managing the lamest dance club in the universe. I was drinking too many espresso's and playing a lot of pool.
2. 5 things on my to-do list: laundry, script submissions, diet/exercise, read, watch movies.
3. What snacks do I enjoy? What snacks don't I enjoy? Things with sugar, chocolate, salt, empty calories, carbohydrates, and some sort of tasty goo.
4. What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire? I'd disappear. Sayonara, suckers.
5. 3 bad habits: The aforementioned snacks, I can be incredibly lazy, and in the comfort of my own home, when no one is around, I will, on occasion, pick my nose.
6. 3 places I've lived: in a dingy fifth-wheel in Skagway, Alaska. In my brother's basement. At the lowest point of my life, I lived in my car. My car that didn't run.
7. Jobs I've had: I dressed as a miner named Stinky Cleetus McGee and drove a tourbus in Alaska. I moved pipe. I wrote snarky movie reviews for a University newspaper.
8. 5 things ya'll don't know about me. 1. My thumbs are double-jointed 2. See nose-picking comment above 3. I like "Toxic" by Britney Spears 4. I have C-cup love handles 5. I have big feet (wink-wink nudge-nudge knowwhatImean-knowwhatImean)
I stole the following questions from various friends' blogs.
1. What was I doing 10 years ago? I was managing the lamest dance club in the universe. I was drinking too many espresso's and playing a lot of pool.
2. 5 things on my to-do list: laundry, script submissions, diet/exercise, read, watch movies.
3. What snacks do I enjoy? What snacks don't I enjoy? Things with sugar, chocolate, salt, empty calories, carbohydrates, and some sort of tasty goo.
4. What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire? I'd disappear. Sayonara, suckers.
5. 3 bad habits: The aforementioned snacks, I can be incredibly lazy, and in the comfort of my own home, when no one is around, I will, on occasion, pick my nose.
6. 3 places I've lived: in a dingy fifth-wheel in Skagway, Alaska. In my brother's basement. At the lowest point of my life, I lived in my car. My car that didn't run.
7. Jobs I've had: I dressed as a miner named Stinky Cleetus McGee and drove a tourbus in Alaska. I moved pipe. I wrote snarky movie reviews for a University newspaper.
8. 5 things ya'll don't know about me. 1. My thumbs are double-jointed 2. See nose-picking comment above 3. I like "Toxic" by Britney Spears 4. I have C-cup love handles 5. I have big feet (wink-wink nudge-nudge knowwhatImean-knowwhatImean)
Friday, April 25, 2008
I'm easily distracted by small, shiny objects.
There are a handful of things that have been distracting me from my Summer of 1000 Movies. Some of them are, in no particualar order:
A. The NBA Playoffs. Being a diehard Celtics fan (I inherited this love from my father who was a big Russell/Cousy fan) it's nice to have the C's back in the playoffs. They've stunk the joint out in recent years, so I make an effort to watch every one of their games in a lame attempt to make up for lost time.
B. A Song of Ice and Fire. George R. R. Martin's fantasy historical series is knockin' my socks off. I'm currently digesting book four...and that's a problem. There will be seven books in this series but only four have been published as yet. Five is out in September (allegedly, there have been delays before) and I'm about to pee my pants with excitement.
C. Work. Currently rockin' two jobs (the better to pay my bills with) and that takes a lot of time and effort. Luckily, on certain nights, I can read or watch movies while working at Hertz. Don't tell my boss.
But enough of my bellyachin'.
Bradley Bridget Jones Barrett update: I have lost another pound! Woo hoo! I've truly only put a half-hearted effort into my dieting, and I have yet to exercise in any meaningful way, but I've lost three pounds in three weeks. Current weight is 237.
And finally getting to my Summer of 1000 Movies, I watched a few good ones this week. In the order that I watched them...
4. A couple of months ago I got Sunshine from Netflix. I watched it and sat, stunned, in my chair letting my amazement settle. I then drove to the post office, mailed it back, and drove directly to Hastings to purchase my own copy. I then sat down and watched it again. So my buddy Larry (nee Jerry) was over and he'd not seen it so I made him watch it. It's the story of a future Earth, where the sun is dying and a space mission has been launched to reignite the sun thereby saving us humans from imminent death. Along the way the usual life or death situations occur. I have to say, that there was nothing wholly original about this movie (there's only so much you can do with a realistic-style space movie) but there are parts that exceed their grasp in an excellent way. The direction was strong, the writing economic and lively, and there was nary a bum note from the cast. Overall, one of the most well made, interesting, and entertaining movies I've had the pleasure to watch. A-.
5. Not to be on a mini sci-fi run, but I watched Alien for the first time in a bazillion years. I think the last time I watched this film it was a VHS copy. I remember really liking this one, but I'd forgotten many of the specifics. I'd also forgotten that Ian Holm (Bilbo Baggins from the Lord of the Rings trilogy) played science officer Ash. What a wonderful exercise in claustrophobic atmosphere and tension. And while set in space, this is really a horror film. A really well made horror film. I can't imagine that anyone who reads this will not be familiar with the plot, so I'll leave the summary to others. I love this film. It's one of the best of its kind. A.
6. I remember the first time I saw the Mel Gibson vehicle Payback. I thought it was fun, dark, and kind of odd. An intersting use of bad-guy-as-sympathetic-guy dynamics. I gave it three stars when I was filling out Netflix reviews. I found out recently that there was going to be a director's cut (seven years later!) and that because of studio interference during the intial production director Brian Helgeland was being given the opportunity to cut the film the way he originally intended. Ugh. What folly. After noticing a different variation of the opening, the only thing that was improved upon was the score. I'm not kidding. Most of the movie was either unchanged or not changed enough that I noticed. But the real problem was the ending. While the earlier version had a sense of fun and dark humor, the director's version was overly simple and humorless. Bleck. If you feel a burning need in your loins to see this movie, get the version originally released and not the directors cut. Original version C+, directors cut D-.
7. Watched a delightful horror/black comedy movie called Severance yesterday. It's about a sales team for a weapons manufacturing company embarking on a "team building" weekend in the Hungarian wilderness. Yeah, kinda goofy, but in this case it works just fine. As the team arrives in the woods, things begin to go awry, and then they start getting picked off, as you'd imagine, one by one. Some excellent British humor moments that had me laughing my proverbial knickers off, some well done jump-scares (one even made me slosh my cereal all over my lap), and some gore/boobs/satisfaction-when-the-dumbass-dies moments. Not art, but fun and etertaining. B-.
That's all for now. Buh bye.
A. The NBA Playoffs. Being a diehard Celtics fan (I inherited this love from my father who was a big Russell/Cousy fan) it's nice to have the C's back in the playoffs. They've stunk the joint out in recent years, so I make an effort to watch every one of their games in a lame attempt to make up for lost time.
B. A Song of Ice and Fire. George R. R. Martin's fantasy historical series is knockin' my socks off. I'm currently digesting book four...and that's a problem. There will be seven books in this series but only four have been published as yet. Five is out in September (allegedly, there have been delays before) and I'm about to pee my pants with excitement.
C. Work. Currently rockin' two jobs (the better to pay my bills with) and that takes a lot of time and effort. Luckily, on certain nights, I can read or watch movies while working at Hertz. Don't tell my boss.
But enough of my bellyachin'.
Bradley Bridget Jones Barrett update: I have lost another pound! Woo hoo! I've truly only put a half-hearted effort into my dieting, and I have yet to exercise in any meaningful way, but I've lost three pounds in three weeks. Current weight is 237.
And finally getting to my Summer of 1000 Movies, I watched a few good ones this week. In the order that I watched them...
4. A couple of months ago I got Sunshine from Netflix. I watched it and sat, stunned, in my chair letting my amazement settle. I then drove to the post office, mailed it back, and drove directly to Hastings to purchase my own copy. I then sat down and watched it again. So my buddy Larry (nee Jerry) was over and he'd not seen it so I made him watch it. It's the story of a future Earth, where the sun is dying and a space mission has been launched to reignite the sun thereby saving us humans from imminent death. Along the way the usual life or death situations occur. I have to say, that there was nothing wholly original about this movie (there's only so much you can do with a realistic-style space movie) but there are parts that exceed their grasp in an excellent way. The direction was strong, the writing economic and lively, and there was nary a bum note from the cast. Overall, one of the most well made, interesting, and entertaining movies I've had the pleasure to watch. A-.
5. Not to be on a mini sci-fi run, but I watched Alien for the first time in a bazillion years. I think the last time I watched this film it was a VHS copy. I remember really liking this one, but I'd forgotten many of the specifics. I'd also forgotten that Ian Holm (Bilbo Baggins from the Lord of the Rings trilogy) played science officer Ash. What a wonderful exercise in claustrophobic atmosphere and tension. And while set in space, this is really a horror film. A really well made horror film. I can't imagine that anyone who reads this will not be familiar with the plot, so I'll leave the summary to others. I love this film. It's one of the best of its kind. A.
6. I remember the first time I saw the Mel Gibson vehicle Payback. I thought it was fun, dark, and kind of odd. An intersting use of bad-guy-as-sympathetic-guy dynamics. I gave it three stars when I was filling out Netflix reviews. I found out recently that there was going to be a director's cut (seven years later!) and that because of studio interference during the intial production director Brian Helgeland was being given the opportunity to cut the film the way he originally intended. Ugh. What folly. After noticing a different variation of the opening, the only thing that was improved upon was the score. I'm not kidding. Most of the movie was either unchanged or not changed enough that I noticed. But the real problem was the ending. While the earlier version had a sense of fun and dark humor, the director's version was overly simple and humorless. Bleck. If you feel a burning need in your loins to see this movie, get the version originally released and not the directors cut. Original version C+, directors cut D-.
7. Watched a delightful horror/black comedy movie called Severance yesterday. It's about a sales team for a weapons manufacturing company embarking on a "team building" weekend in the Hungarian wilderness. Yeah, kinda goofy, but in this case it works just fine. As the team arrives in the woods, things begin to go awry, and then they start getting picked off, as you'd imagine, one by one. Some excellent British humor moments that had me laughing my proverbial knickers off, some well done jump-scares (one even made me slosh my cereal all over my lap), and some gore/boobs/satisfaction-when-the-dumbass-dies moments. Not art, but fun and etertaining. B-.
That's all for now. Buh bye.
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