vive la difference!

I watched two movies on Thursday and they could not have been more different.



First up, The Orphanage. A well thought out, deliberate, and very scary movie that gave me the chills, the willies (or as my friend Jon Rex used to say) the Williams, and an ending that toyed with my emotions and won. I started and stopped this movie three times so I could get my adrenaline down. I was literally watching through my fingers while curled up in a ball.
It's the story of a lady who grew up in an orphangage (duh) and now, as an adult, her and her husband and adopted son purchase the orphanage so she can continue to help children. From there it turns into a sublime, skin-crawling haunting. I seriously got goosebumps many, many times.
Well done all around. A-.



Second, we have a Japanese gore-fest called The Machine Girl. It was awful and I loved every second of it. A girl gets her arm cut off (and her brother killed) by Ninja mafia dicks, so she has a mechanic craft a machine gun for her arm (a la Planet Terror and Rose McGowan's leg) so she can exact her revenge. One of the most disgusting movies I've seen in awhile. There's even a mafia lady with a drill bra. Yes, you read that right. Not for the squeamish. Utter crap. But enjoyable crap. C+

lazy days

This summer hasn't been real great for me to have lazy days. I love lazy summer days; the BBQ's, golf, summer movies, etc. I haven't played golf yet (had a nice golf day scheduled last week, but my allergies reared their ugly head, and I was unable to go), only grilled once, and have only seen a few summer movies in the theater. My work schedule hasn't helped, in fact, it's kinda hurt my chances for lazy fun.
However...
This week (and next week) I will have conIsecutive days off and I plan on being as lazy as I can get away with.
Yesterday was a three movie day. I haven't done that in a long time. Yay me.
Here's how it goes:
I really wanted to like Be Kind Rewind, but it just wasn't that good. Wonderful premise, bad execution. Lots of good ideas that never came to fruition. Liked the first 40 minutes a lot, wanted my money back after it was all over. D+.



Watched the Bourne Ultimatum again and loved it again. One of the best action movies ever, it's the best of the three in the Bourne series, and it's probably more responisible for the re-boot of the 007 franchise than anything else. A.



I watched Top Secret for the first time in a bazillion years. I was reminded of it when I read an article at empireonline.com wondering why it is a forgotten member of the spoof family. I went and bought it (yay Hastings discount, it was only $5.48!) and laughed my ass off again. Not as good at Airplane, but better than Hot Shots or any of the current pap calling itself a spoof movie (this means you, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, Scary Movie, etc.) B.



1. Monsturd D-
2. Zodiac C+
3. Southland Tales F
4. Sunshine A-
5. Alien A
6. Payback (director's cut) D-
7. Severance B-
8. Hellboy C+
9. Night of the Hunter D---
10. Sanjuro B+
11. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians F, MST3K version B+
12. Hellboy: Sword of Storms C-
13. The Thing From Another World B-
14. the Maltese Falcon B-
15. the Big Sleep B
16. Blacula D
17. Scream, Blacula, Scream D+
18. Cloverfield B
19. Domino C+
20. Get Smart B-
21. the Changeling in memory B+, in reality C-
22. the Lady in the Lake F
23. Hellboy II The Golden Army B
24. Pirates of the Carribean at World's End C-
25. Be Kind Rewind D+
26. Bourne Ultimatum A
27. Top Secret B

sorrysorrysorrysorry...what can I say? I suck.

So I haven't blogged in awhile. I'm sorry, get over it, and let's start anew, shall we?

Instead of trying to play catch up, and attempting to fit a month's worth of shite into this blog, I'll give you a quick and abbreviated summary. It goes a little something like this...

I've worked a lot (a whole lot) in the last month, I've watched a few movies and my allergies are kickin' my buttocks. Bleh. Here's the updated version of my Summer of 1000 Movies list:

1. Monsturd D-
2. Zodiac C+
3. Southland Tales F
4. Sunshine A-
5. Alien A
6. Payback (director's cut) D-
7. Severance B-
8. Hellboy C+
9. Night of the Hunter D---
10. Sanjuro B+
11. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians F, MST3K version B+
12. Hellboy: Sword of Storms C-
13. The Thing From Another World B-
14. the Maltese Falcon B-
15. the Big Sleep B
16. Blacula D
17. Scream, Blacula, Scream D+
18. Cloverfield B
19. Domino C+
20. Get Smart B-
21. the Changeling in memory B+, in reality C-
22. the Lady in the Lake F
23. Hellboy II The Golden Army B
24. Pirates of the Carribean at World's End C-

If you have any questions about specific movies that I haven't reviewed yet, ask and I'll give you my thoughts. Right now I'm at work and I'm not in the mood to write a whole bunch.

And on that note...

Later days
B-Rad