the Toby Keith

So my friends Joe G. and Mark C. were in town over Christmas and we went to IHOP for brunch on Sunday.

We attempted to pull off the hetero handshakes/hugs (successfully, I think) and then were seated by the indifferent staff.

We were doing the catching up thing when our waitress interupted us and told us the special of the day was the Mile High omelet.

After she left I wondered aloud that if one of us ordered the special, would that person be required to have sex with her in the bathroom? For only $9.99? What a steal!

Mark was looking through his menu and he asked what the Stuffed French Toast was stuffed with. I said 'gravy' as Joe said 'a T-bone'. We decided that it would indeed be awesome if it was filled with these things. Joe decided that it would be called The Toby Keith. Perfect.

We discussed various movies and pop culture things then we received some of the worst food we could have found in a tri-county area. Bleck. Next time ya'll come to visit I'm going to take you to Los Adelbertos instead. The Meats of Dubious Origins breakfast burrito would have to be better than the swill we had at the IHOP.

Thanks for coming to visit fellas. I had a wonderful time in spite of the bad food and not having sex with our waitress.

I'm out.

...the horror...

For some unknown reason I am feeling quite anxious about the upcoming year.

No, that's not exactly right. I'm feeling anxious about a new year.

There have been lots of things that I've conveniently been putting off and/or visualizing happening next year. Pretty much this means I've been procrastinating and now it's time to pay the fiddler.

I've had two completed screenplays for awhile now and I've never shopped them, entered them in competition, in fact I've done nothing (not even re-read them) for about 6-8 months. I solemnly pledge to you, loyal reader(s?) that I will do something positive with them in the next 90 days.

I have had a few good ideas but haven't written hardly a thing to bring them to life. I will rectify this and have some new material soon.

(I suppose you could call this blab-fest a lame-o version of New Year's Resolutions)
One thing I've done already is the diet. Yeah, I know, I'm a broken record on this one. I've lost 8 pounds. Many more to go.

Okay. Now on to the fun stuff.

I finally saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. Not so good. In fact, kind of bad. I don't want to waste energy on this snooze-fest, so lets move on shall we?
D-.

(I found this on deviantart.com by a person named daybender. nicely done, sir or madame.)

On the same night that I saw Indy IV, I watched Zombie Strippers. Also not good, but at least it had a sense of fun that was missing from Steven Speil-beard's latest. When I say a sense of fun, I'm definitely not saying it was funny. I'm just saying that it understood that it wasn't so great, and as a result it didn't take itself very seriously. It's a comedy that forgot to be funny, a boob-fest that forgot to be sexy, and a zombie movie that forgot to um, well, I have nowhere to go with this joke.
And, sadly, I have to say that Jenna Jameson looks really, really freaky.

She used to look like this

But now she looks like this.


Yecch. This is a prime example of why I will never ever ever have any whims or thoughts about plastic surgery.

I really have no cohesive thoughts tonight. This is just a purging of the mental junk drawer. Thanks for stopping by.